User:Smaurer
From Conner 2
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[[Image:Sam.jpg|thumb|Sam Maurer]] | [[Image:Sam.jpg|thumb|Sam Maurer]] | ||
<span class="res-name">Sam Maurer</span> | <span class="res-name">Sam Maurer</span> | ||
Current revision as of 03:51, 27 May 2010
Sam Maurer
Contents |
Stats
- Room - 224C (back when it was green and orange)
- Height - 5' 9 3/4"
- Weight - 155 lb
- Purity Score - 52%
- Graduation Year - 2007
- Major - Course 10: Chemical Engineering
- Floor Positions - Former Floor Chair, Apple Bake Chair, Social Chair, Birthday Chair, Vacuum Chair, Free Ham and Turkey Chair (all at the same time)
- Strengths - nicknames, Woon Teck impressions, saving money on groceries
- Weaknesses - sushi, berets, car bombs
- Nicknames - Spam, Spammy, Spamdor, Spamtastic, Spamalicious (if you're not into that whole brevity thing)
- Associations - Tangularity
Conner 2 Trivia
- Unit
- The maurer is a unit of awesomeness. 1 maurer is equal to Sam playing one note of Trogdor in Guitar Hero II. The entire song, including the scream of "and the Trogdor comes in the niiiiiiiiight" at the end, is 0.8 kilomaurer.
- Video Game Persona
- Sam's video game persona is Mario, except he hates mushrooms, but whatever.
- Secret Santa Poem
2003
- So we lost our vacuum once
- And don't want it to be twice
- Make sure you protect it, using this device.
2005
- There are two kinds of processed meat
- Which you have had the pleasure to greet
- One is your nickname
- Of Monty Python fame
- The other makes oil, over heat.
2006
- His UROP's really very cool
- Turning turkeys into fuel
- Without his brand of processes meat
- How could we ever hope to compete?
Bio
My childhood was nothing if not traumatic. In Kindergarten, Mrs. Stevenson told me that the letter C was a "stealer," because it stole sounds from the K and the S and never had its own sound. I've held a lifelong grudge against the letter C and all it represents since then. In first grade I invented taco salad, but The Man won't give me credit for it. Fifth grade was the first time I ever forgot to do my homework, and I cried about it for twenty minutes in the middle of class.
But once I got to MIT, everything started to go pretty well. I lived on Conner 2 because I was too lazy to move out of my temp room. I stumbled from Course 18 into Course 10, kind of by accident, I guess. I ran the Boston Marathon as a joke, and I got paid $6,000 to travel to Europe because the director of MISTI googled herself and found my blog. I used to turn turkeys into fuel in the Tester Lab, but as of Fall 2007 I'll be at Berkeley, turning tricks to finance my PhD.
Someday I'm going to start a rock band that will be named either Tanzen! or Super Energy Pill or The Franklin Badge. Our first hit single will be "Panspermia" off of the album "None Shall Pass" and our first live album will be recorded in Köln, Germany, in front of the cathedral, and it will be called "Rock Am Dom."
Quotes
"Remember when Jean Grey was tearing Wolverine apart with psychic energy, and Wolverine was like, 'Psh, ain't no thang?'"
"This is a Longaberger basket; you can never throw it out. I'm always like, 'Mom, I never use this basket, can I throw it out?' and she's like 'That's a Longaberger basket, you can't get them anymore!' and I'm like... 'You can't get polio anymore.' "
