Super Smash Bros. on Conner 2

From Conner 2

Contents 1 History 2 Traditions 3 Players 4 Slang 5 Controversy

History

It really all started with the following e-mail...

From: Sam Maurer

To: Conner 2

Date: 1/11/07

Subject: N64 and Lock

Hey guys,

Hope you had a great holiday. My grandmother almost started a kitchen fire on Christmas.

My mom bought me a copy of Blast Corps on eBay for my birthday and I was wondering if anybody had been considering bringing an N64 over for our legendary cabinet of games. If not, I'll bring mine up. I have two controllers, so if anybody has 2 more controllers they could bring, that would be great.

Here are the games I would bring:

Mario 64

Mario Kart

Waverace

Diddy Kong Racing

Goldeneye

Blast Corps

Star Fox 64

Zelda: OOT and Majora's Mask

Here are some games that are cool, but I don't have them:

Super Smash Brothers

Perfect Dark

Turok 2

Also, my mom will be here with a car on Monday, which means that we could go buy a lock for the cabinet. If people let me know what kind to get or give me price and design specifications, I could buy something using floor funds.

Okay, so let me know what you think and PLEASE GOD SOMEONE BRING SMASH BROTHERS.

sam

That was all the invitation Mason needed. Since he lives like an hour away, it was no trouble for him to stop home and pick up a bunch of N64 games, Super Smash Bros. included, and bring them back to the floor. Since the Wii was by now passe, Smash soon became the primary reason for usage of the floor lounge. Unfortunately, it got boring after about two weeks, because Sam always chose Pikachu, threw people off the edge and edgeguarded them until they died. The game would have been fun if Sam had used any other character, or just not edgeguarded so much, but he's mean like that.

So Mason quickly devised a solution: he went on eBay and bought a used Gamecube with four Wavebirds. Upon hearing this, Sam immediately went on Amazon and bought a new copy of Super Smash Bros. Melee, the faster, more frenetic sequel to Super Smash Bros. After a week of anticipation, the game arrived, and Smash play on the floor was unending for virtually 24 hours. Sam was disappointed to discover that throws and edgeguarding weren't as useful in Melee as they had been in its N64 counterpart, causing him to initially suck at Melee. He therefore suggested that the floor go back to playing "the one I rock at", but his pleas were not well-received by his fellow Smash players. However, after devising new tactics and learning new characters, Sam developed average skills at Melee, and now enjoys it as much as the N64 version. After owning the game for just over 4 months, Smash is currently played for only about 1-2 hours per night on the floor, on average.

It is not known whether Sam's enrollment at the University of California, Berkeley will affect Smash habits on the floor next year. However, since the upcoming sequel to Melee, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, includes the capacity for online play, it is likely that his unending struggle with Mevdor for Smash dominance will continue across the country.

Traditions

• Smash must always be played with handles, and all handles must be four-letter food items, misspelt if possible (ex. TANG, BEFF, OKRA). This tradition started because the first two handles used regularly on Conner 2 were SPAM and TANG
• Smash players on Conner 2 have devised secret hand signals by which all Smash sessions are initiated.
• Evan complains at least once per Smash session about his controller not working.
• Instances of Pikachu or Pichu in giant or tiny form must be destroyed at all costs.

Players

Players are listed in order corresponding to approximately decreasing frequency of Smash playing. Note that all handles are four letter food items!

Major Players
Player	Handle	Brawl Main Characters	Melee Main Characters	N64 Main Characters
Mason	TANG	Marth, Lucas, Ike	Marth, Jigglypuff, Dr. Mario	Kirby
Dan	CHKN	Ice Climbers, King Dedede	Ice Climbers	Link
Snively	LAMB	Ike	Roy, Samus,
Evan	PORK		Pikachu, Young Link	Link
Sam	SPAM	Diddy Kong, Game & Watch	Sheik, Falco	Pikachu, Ness
Richard	CHYZ		Jigglypuff, Link, Samus	Link, Samus
Shifty	BEFF		Captain Falcon, Marth, Zelda
Javier	TACO		Samus
Minor Players
Player	Handle	Brawl Main Character(s)	Melee Main Character(s)	N64 Main Character(s)
Gabe	NUTZ
Chris	BBQ!
Laura	ZITI		Samus
Ruth	OKRA		Mario

Slang

• Sheik's forward aerial, oft spammed by... well, by SPAM, is better known as the "bitch slap"
• Captain Falcon's forward smash has been nicknamed the "mighty elbow," while his forward aerial is similarly nicknamed the "mighty knee"
• The maxim tomato item is called the Mason tomato, not really for any particular reason
• When using the Ice Climbers' neutral B attack, players will often slowly chant the phrase "ice block"
• Sam calls his main characters, Sheik and Zelda, "the good one" and "the dumpy one," respectively (Ex: "No! I'm the dumpy one! Down B! Down B!")
• Shortly after unlocking Mr. Game & Watch, Sam devised the "bacon trap", a strategy that involves using his neutral B attack until opposing players become frustrated and rush toward Mr. Game & Watch, at which point he destroys them with Mr. Game & Watch's powerful attacks. Similar tactics with other characters are also referred to as "bacon traps"
• After hearing Shifty's bizarre claim that Mario is the strongest character in Melee due to an "infinite damage combo," any repeated attacks that cause major damage to the opponent are spontaneously nicknamed "infinite damage combos" (Ex. "Mason, stop using Marth's forward smash!" "I can't; it's Marth's infinite damage combo.")
• Pikachu's smash B attack is often called the "chu chu rocket," particularly after Evan kills someone with it from across the screen
• The most awesome thing that can happen in Smash is Donkey Kong with a lightsaber, followed closesly by Mewtwo with a Hammer
• Alternate nicknames: Jigglypuff = Jiggles, Pikachu = Pichu = The Rat

Controversy

Some floor residents have expressed concern that Smash players are somehow playing too much Smash, avoiding social contact with other floor residents and neglecting their studies. Since Sam is a senior and Mevdor are freshmen, this isn't really a problem for them. It is unknown how Rick finds so much time to play Smash, or whether he will continue once Junior Lab begins in the Fall 2007 term.

Zach, in particular, often stomps off if he sees that the floor lounge is being used to play Smash. Laura has repeatedly expressed vocal concern for Smash players on the floor, despite playing Smash herself on occasion. Ruth has gone so far as to state the the floor's addiction to Smash exceeds her own addiction to the imbibement of alcoholic beverages--a considerable accusation.

Some floor residents have noted that Smash behavior on the floor is possibly sexist, since only male residents play with any regularity. However, this point is somewhat refuted by the fact that Sam and Richard use Sheik and Jigglypuff, respectively, as their main characters.

Also, as noted above, Evan frequently complains about the poor quality of the Wavebird controllers used to control Smash Bros. Melee, although not as much when he's winning.